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Below are the 25 most recent journal entries.

	2003.10.15  22.21 f.y.i. well, kids... my time with livejournal has ended, at least for the time being. why, you may ask, would i be choosing to take a hiatus from the lovely land of livejournal? well, i have a few reasons. note: please do not take personal offence to the following statements. these are simply the things that pop up in my head and i feel like saying. a) i love connection. i love meeting new, exciting people. but some of the shit that i stumble across in various communities on here is horribly demoralizing and sad. i don't want to see pictures of people posting simply in order to have others praise the way they look. (that's not to say that i haven't chosen to go to those communities...it's just something i'm not fond of.) i see some great communities too, where politics, philosophy and art are discussed. but i would much rather discuss these things in person. people get offended online- which is kind of ridiculous if you consider the fact that...hey, you chose to post the shit here...where you know others can read your entries. if it's a personal idea that you don't want to share...don't post it here. b) i don't feel this is a good creative outlet for me. c) i don't have time. at all. d) every night i come on here and end up staring at this screen for hours and hours and hours. i'd rather read a book. or take a walk. or write a letter. or talk to my girlfriend. e) i would really love to meet all of you people. your lives are really interesting to me. but i feel perversely voyeuristic reading the accounts of people's lives whom i've never said 3 individual words to in my life. f) the most important people in my life are hundreds and thousands of miles away from me. i'm already disconnected from those around me at home, but i feel like livejournal takes me farther away from both my friends from here and my loved ones who live a long way away. g) it's time for a change in my routine. h) i don't have time. so you see, these are a couple of my reasons. i don't know if they make sense, but i just wanted to let any of you know who actually read this thing that...i won't be around at all anymore. i hope i'll stumble across you in a coffee shop or a museum someday, and if you feel strongly about my leaving for some reason, don't hesitate to email me at ianmcroberts@yahoo.com. thanks for your time. i've learned a lot. i'd love to hear from each and every one of you still. -ian.

	2003.10.11  00.21 what is this world coming to? VANCOUVER - A seemingly outdated bylaw in Vancouver has resurfaced and become a thorn in the side of some local restaurants. The bylaw dates from about 15 years ago and specifies that for certain designated restaurants, it's against the law to use amplified instruments or to have more than two performers on stage at the same time. It also forbids dancing. Violators are fined $2,000. City Councillor and arts supporter Jim Green says the bylaw makes no sense. "Two mimes are OK but three mimes are too noisy?" Green asked at a recent council meeting. "Also, it's against the law to dance. I mean, how noisy is dancing?" In the past few months, several establishments have received warnings from city bylaw enforcement officers that they were breaking the law. It's unknown who lodged the initial complaint to the city. A group of musicians, spoken word artists and café owners have launched a campaign to remove the bylaw from the city's books. "We have had music for five years," said Cottage Bistro owner Eugene Dong. "We never have any complaints and never had any problems from the police." Singer Sarah Cheevers says that, in fact, the welcoming atmosphere generated by performers has helped improve the neighbourhood. "Five, 10 years ago, this place had a lot more crime," Cheevers said. "Since there's been entertainment here, people are more willing to venture out into their communities. City council will begin a review of the bylaw, which even Mayor Larry Campbell has admitted is bad, Thursday.

	2003.10.05  14.50 and why not live life like a fantasy? . and what about living fantasy like life? .

	2003.10.05  10.42 i miss you differently on sunday mornings, mornings about rolling over to fall back asleep in your eyes- for you to read me poetry. for me to make us breakfast. i miss you differently on sundays, the kind of missing that seeps from my heart all the way to my toenails and the broken edges of each of my hairs. sunday mornings without you are the empty ones full of thoughts of What's To Come. sunday mornings i well up. and then face the day half still asleep in your eyes, your hair draped across the pillow and my shoulder.

	2003.09.29  07.40 all.you.need.is.love. says: i love you so much .... and im only thinking about you right now honestly and just how each day we fit better and better, this makes more and more sense as everything around me doesnt -- how i find it absolutely amazing that since a year ago i knew my life was changed and its still changed - like this pebble in my soul that sends these ripples that i just keep feeling - this vibration from a shock that i keep receiving and its beautiful and life giving and its the only thing im really certain of and that used to scare me but i only realized recently that im scared of everything else in my life except this (i hope you don't mind) Mood: monday morning. Music: baroque.

	2003.09.27  14.15 wow. life is good.

	2003.09.20  23.27 i feel stirringly disconnected. one of those nights where i feel alone in my universe. i think i need sleep.

	2003.09.16  23.09 just so. and so it goes...i feel like i'm floating. again. kind of this tingling self-awareness that won't actually become self-awareness until after the fact. i live off of rehearsals. there's no comparing getting paid 16.95 an hour to do- what you love- in a beautiful house on the rougher side of town with door that don't work and tomato plants and two other actors who are real actors...and who smoke clove cigarettes and offer advice. mike- grew up as a mennonite, not allowed to listen to music or go out until he was 16 years old. found a friends tape when they were working on a play together, had stairway to heaven and some bob dylan on it. he'd never heard of either musician/song...so he played it and thought he'd discovered these unknown amazing artists...out of the context of pop-culture. learned 'stairway' on piano. laurie- lived in a house with three other girls who loved monty python, wanted to name her kitten wensleydale after the cheese shop sketch...but it seemed to long a name for such a small cat, so called her wensley, then wendy. when wendy was smaller she would rear up on her haunches like a bear. now she's 'wendy bear'. and yet i feel helpless- like the only place i need to be is where my love is. to cradle her head in my lap and touch her lips, to breathe with her and show her. just show her, share with her. and when i think about it, i know i'd give any of this up for her. anything at all. i promised myself and her that a long time ago. i love you. '-saharas have their centuries; ten thousand of which are smaller than a rose's moment.' ee cummings i just liked that. sweet dreams.

	2003.09.09  19.20 my god. i didn't think i could find anything more to procrastinate about...so i finally came on here...and decided to update. these intervals between updates are becoming longer and longer, i know...i've taken to falling asleep before there's time to write it all down. school. is kind of a joke right now...i've gotten through the first 2.5 weeks barely picking up a book...my first physics deadline was extended...and english isn't due til the 26th...i still should do work but i seem to find things to do elsewhere and otherwise, constantly. so. i miss wonder_thoughts. i miss pattimayo. i miss jamkisses. i miss echos_shadow... all of them are the people i want to be sitting in a room with right now. i think that could work. really well. you all could bring someone too if you wanted. couldn't find poetry for awhile- it was in my mind and sticking to the back of my mouth, my fingertips like a lump of dry bread that won't go up or down. but she fixed it...she always seems to... today a brochure came into my hands, mailed from some company that puts together school dances. called 'reMixed!' this company literally thought it was 'the shiznit' (even said so on the brochure). at one point, after ghetto-izing and completely diluting an entire paragraph about the 'phat' speaker systems they offer...they exclaimed: 'CHUUUUUUCH!!!'. in big bold letters. can anyone explain to me the meaning of this 'word'? i'm confused. (skin colour check...yeah...still white.) moving on... other things that are happening: waiting to find out the results of latest audition, volleyball commenced, band trip is possibly to montreal this year (mmm), i'm doing a project on ee cummings in english, choir started (we're cutting a christmas cd), voice lessons and piano start up soon, i've fallen in love with the same girl for the 10 thousandth time (and hope she's doing okay), i finally reconnected with jmoney (and man get well soon bro....)...annnd i now have the entire upstairs of my house to myself. how is everyone? college, school, shenanigans around the world. i miss you all. peace. and love. (or should i say...CHUUUUUUCH!.) (i.) Mood: wow it's been awhile. Music: humming.

	2003.08.28  00.10 my summer is over. tomorrow i begin classes, physics class first thing in the morning...my last year of high school. (thanks let's not make a big deal about it). new school, new feelings...a whisper, a sarcastic comment, all of it has become so anti-personal...and that's not bad. as though high school suddenly becomes a lesser thing, not the entire universe swirling around me. a rock to perch on in the bigger pool. and i was actually very glad to see people. i felt like one of the teachers though, felt like i should be getting kids to listenup and take their hats off. strange? i've taken up the harmonica. what's this world come to? :D. further, two nights in the backcountry is excessively refreshing. it felt like a week...mm and working for your supper...and mountain vistas stretched out in this vast expanse at your feet, bizarre, ethereal...beautiful. and kev is home, he sent the funniest letter/package from vancouver that i received today. what a guy. september will fly by. weakerthans concert on the 7th...i might actually be able to go. off i go to dream. beautiful dreams. it's wonderful when uncertainty falls into place- sometimes. like today. because i'm uncertain of more than i'm certain of...but what i'm certain of seems to make all the difference. sweet dreams.

	2003.08.23  15.46 Ink runs from the corners of my mouth. There is no happiness like mine. I have been eating poetry. The librarian does not believe what she sees. Her eyes are sad and she walks with her hands in her dress. The poems are gone. The light is dim. The dogs are on the basement stairs and coming up. Their eyeballs roll, their blond legs burn like brush. The poor librarian begins to stamp her feet and weep. She does not understand. When I get on my knees and lick her hand, she screams. I am a new man. I snarl at her and bark. I romp with joy in the bookish dark. -Mark Strand.

	2003.08.18  22.41 sometimes- (when Noone is watching) i, kick my feet out and scream silently- beating at the walls that surround me and, when Noone turns away, i spit and curse my Mind for knowing 'what'. i silently watch as i- silently spill over, into the sides, the middle of this empty pit (or at least i can't see the end) i'm watching and my back turns towards my eyes so i (falling) can only see the darkness as i descend. and Noone knows (Noone says) that this just isn't as bad as it seems. maybe, i ask (when Noone calls, or comes back to visit finally) am i falling until Someone catches up? "let's just fall together". and Noone says a word. Mood: tired

	2003.08.15  01.20 i've been thinking. things have been good. what an experience this summer has been...the kind of experience that fills you up and oozes out of your pores. yeah. i'm drenched with this experience. and i feel like i'm on the bridge between two worlds- about to enter the final steps before entering that second part of life, that part i've waited for for oh so long... and then i remember that no, i'm not on a bridge between two. i'm constantly submerged in one. sometimes i have to float to the surface to see where to swim to next and breathe. but i'm always under. submerged in world. and the summer's almost over. and i didn't think my friends from here read this journal. what does it say about me that those of them who do don't understand a word of it? sorry y'all. i guess i'm incoherent. and for a couple of days it was a bigfuckyou to livejournal. because it seemed to be the internet's dumping ground for cynicism and bullshit, where people could come to bitch about everything. but then. i realized that it's a hell of a lot better outlet than some other methods. people can say what they want here and that is very cool and very rare. it just sometimes gets to me everytime someone says in an entry 'oh, i'm so crazy. i'm so weird. you're crazy and weird if you read this entry. no one will read this entry...oh...look at my crazy randomness...oh...listen to me bitch about stuff that no one else gets/feels.' (end rant). but hey, livejournal...you've got some positive things goin' on as well. word. anyone who doesn't know what beauty is...check out pattimayo's journal. now that, my friends, is beauty. (too bad you all can't get love-letters from someone that beautiful...((as i grin smugly)).) i've been waking up to dreams of auditioning. i've started vocally warming up every morning, physically warming down every night. yes. i am hardcore. i want to put on 'how to succeed in business without really trying' next year. i have the adult support...now i need students who are interested...(as i move to the city in my mind). oh, and if you get a chance, watch 'talk to her'. one of the best i've seen in awhile. yeah. foreign films make me smile. and think. and emote. and the summer's almost over. happy power-outage. (is everyone okay?) and i don't pray. but i've been praying for people in so many places. the fires that are ravaging the province. hospital patients in the power outage. victims of prejudice and hatred. can anyone talk about good things anymore? -i. Music: the toilet running.

	2003.08.05  00.16 preview/dress sooo...tonight was the preview/dress rehearsal for l'opera...it went really well i think...we open on wednesday...eee. just wanted to say that. i haven't been updating, but the ideas that i've been having and the thoughts i've been thinking are still residing in my skull...so the plan is when the madness ends (or briefly pauses, or tones down slightly) that i shall write this stuff out. like an evaluation of half of my summer. or 2/3rds. or whatever. for now, i'm too exhausted. life is good though. intense. how are you all doing??? let me knowwww. i'm boring right now and for that, i apologize. however...this shall pass. i must devote my passion right now, and i know you'll all understand. i'll return. have a beautiful one. Mood: artistic

	2003.08.01  15.13 i feel like i'm living some sort of paradox right now...living in utter reality but un-reality at the same time. life is so good- i love this crazy schedule of rehearsing, working, sleeping(onceinawhile), being surrounded by professionals, people who are passionate about the stage, whether it's performing or behind the scenes work. i love it. and i don't want to go back to (what soon will be un)reality. school starts again in 27 days. back to the seeming pettiness of highschool. and it's not like i won't enjoy myself- or that i'm not excited...but with every new day my passion is being set, solidified so much more deeply by the people i meet, the rehearsals...it's just what i want. so desperately. partied a bit with some of the cast last night, it was so great- first time i've spent that kind of time with people who i connect with like that. very different experience. but life is good. just kind of feel like i'm sitting on a fence right now. so many opportunities. i can tell i'm in the process of acquiring wisdom and experience- but it's odd that i recognize that i'm in this process. i see what i'm gaining sometimes even before i've gained it. hmm. i need to take a nap. Mood: contemplative

	2003.07.27  02.12 remember the time i forgot to close off my italic html...hmmm...must be sleepy.

	2003.07.27  02.02 discourse (and i meant to call you tonight)... today was all about rehearsing, after waking up late and feeling rested for once...and tonight was all about coming home and reading discourse on method and the meditations by descartes...mmm...brain candy...mmm...i got rather wrapped up in it and found myself unsure of where i was an slightly dizzy after reading the meditations, started the discourse but found myself re-reading paragraphs- so i logged onto my COMPUTER!!! (when all else fails)... i want to be brilliant. heh. too bad for me. but i think i needed a night away from my computer screen. rose petals in envelopes and budding ideas for other packages keep popping into my head...but i can't follow through with it because i'm all schizoid and incoherent lately. all i want to do is love you... and i'm wondering how the move went for jmoney and kandice...(akasparkle)... and i'm wondering why i haven't been sleeping. and i'm wondering why i can't open my eyes and see your face. it's all about wonder. i should try to sleep. people are getting sick around me. grreeeeennnn teeeeeaaa... miss you all. (me.) Mood: drained

	2003.07.25  23.49 let's attempt cohesion. whata fuckingday. tgif. yeah. for real. except thank god it's saturday in ten minutes, and that friday is fucking overwith. started work at 8:15 this morning...and don't get me wrong...i love that job, it gives me so many opportunities and is perrrfect for someone who wants to live off of theatre such as i do. but- jesus h. christ. from the beginning everyone's giving me wayyy to much shit to do, i had 6 binders in my inbox for me to reorganize, fix up, add to, blah blah blah...so i was working working working working working non-stop. and things just were never good..ever. no rehearsal today (atleastnotforme). here's my dillemma...i work at the theatre admin department at the theatre that is putting on the opera, which i'm in. one one hand this is better because with an 'unaffiliated' job i wouldn't be able to do both- given the time commitments...but on the other hand it sucks because if i want the show to run smoothly and go up on time and all that logistic crap- i have to be in the office, running around and splitting hairs, running sandwiches, zoning out from too much pressure...oh but wait...if i want the show to go up...don't i have to be in rehearsal? ugh. so yeah...it's a bit of a situation...other thing is...i'm not interested in theatre admin, i want to be a performer. i respect the necessity of admin and stage management, but at this point i want to be onstage...worrying about rehearsing and going over my score and keeping warm and relaxed and drinking fluids and chilling with the other performers. not rushing about putting little sticky tabs on binders so some stage management team can have their binder. but why the fuck should i complain? i'm a selfish bastard. *sigh*. you can't be always all about you. and still...i am being all about me by doing this because it will benefit me soon. eventually. sooner or later. (and even right now very often). my life has become coffee cups and sunken eyes, dizzy spells and headaches...and yet i'm surrounded by art. reason: i want to be creating the art, not making sure the art is capable of being created. and that's how my thought process loop-de-loops on a quick cycle...realizing i'm being retarded for bitching about this and then coming right back to the bitchiness. maybe that's why i haven't been updating as much lately...i'm on a cycle. rinse, spin, second rinse, respin...i just need to wait til the buzzer goes off. and jamkisses emailed me an epic today, it was a much refreshing break from (theabove)...and i laughed and laughed...so good...thank you m'dear...i miss you. holy shit. it's july 25th. (and for the record i'm still madly in love with patrice miller. let it be known. can anyone say...ten months?) *grin* and i'm up, how am i still up? because my better than best friend is moving out of his house tomorrow and i'm not there and i'm thinking about him. because the girl i love has fallen asleep without me cradling her and i can't stop thinking about her. because i haven't returned emails that i should have a long time ago. (unfinished business?) because i'm too tired to sleep. because something...something is around the bend...i can sense it...and i can't place it, can't tell if it's good or bad, can't tell if it's right or wrong. can't tell which direction it will push me in, but it'll push. it's coming. from some direction (can't tell which.) the daisies around that no parking sign (sign's only 3 feet tall) have grown up so they almost cover up the sign. stopped and stared for awhile longer today. (symbolically?) placed in front of a playground by my house. think about it. why should i complain? yeah. *sigh*. the wheels keep turning...bridges keep burning, and all i can think of is you. -and i wanna fall asleep, to the beat of you breathing...- -'you've had a busy day today...' what's sweet in your lives right now? (me.) Mood: restless Music: free bird- ben folds (stuck in my head)

	2003.07.25  16.12 ::ian's brain overloads and explodes onto the walls of his cubicle:: sheeeeiiit. (me.)

	2003.07.24  17.51 so i'm on my dinner break, between rehearsals...my life is insane...and i love it. so today has been a hell of a ride, all over the place. work, horrible mood, not so bad mood, wonderful mood, horrible mood, almost falling asleep onstage, wonderful mood...*sigh*. and now i'm a big fat...meh... ensemble rehearsals are difficult yet rewarding. costume fittings are good...unless you have three different roles and have an hour long fitting but are 25 minutes late. allow me to explain. sooo...myra, my boss, tells me to go down and get sushi for the bigwigs who are doing theatre arts planning meeting today, but if they don't have sushi...here are the sandwich orders. so i go down, clean the one place out of sushi...come back up...at 12 (when my fitting was scheduled)...and myra's like: 'where is my sandwich?' i don't eat sushi. hmm...so i run to the gooseberry (another cafe on campus)...unwitting, of course, of the hundreds of people who are in there and the copious amounts of sandwiches being made. shit. so i'm there for 20 minutes, book it back up to the office, give myra her sandwich, bound downstairs to wardrobe...and man were those women pissed off at me...grr. so it wasn't good...however it all turned out for the best. and when i got back myra apologized and gave me sushi and candy for being a good lil office boy. heh. rehearsal is all about staging, the scene changes are wicked because of the nature of the set...on hydraulic type wheels that inflate and you can roll it, uber coolness. anyway...so yeah. fun times. and now it's dinner and i have to be back up there in an hour. sorry i haven't been commenting back or commenting on all of your journals, i mean to but...never seem to get around to it. hm. okay, off i go to take a cold shower and eat something. hope everyone's nights shine. -)me(- Mood: rushed Music: pardon me- incubus

	2003.07.23  08.04 how many days has it been? a few. yeah. i just didn't feel like writing anything. not that beautiful things aren't happening and haven't been...i just needed a breath. too much screen, and by the time i'm done typing to the one who i'm really always talking to anyway, it's time for bed, let's be honest. opera is going wonderfully...we start rehearsals on stage today. there's many excellent people in the cast, it's a rewarding experience thus far for sure, i can't believe it's already the end of july though... work. is okay. good, but i'd rather be focussing completely on performing, embracing a role, learning lines, rehearrrrsing(welli'mdoingthatallthetimeatleast)....and just living for the stage- at least i'm working in theatre arts...i just could never see myself doing this day in and day out. had a day off on monday and it was so needed... and so i update. telling people what i've done in the past few days. that's kind of redundant, methinks...and i'm wishing i had something poetic to say. i'm in love? that's poetic- but right now i can't fit the words to the feeling in the slightest...not like she ever does...mmm...never be sorry for calling twice... and mom doesn't hate you. trust me on this. i love you. jmoney- thank.you for being home, i missed you bro. i can't wait til you come up for the show...hell i can't wait til you move out!!! three days bro, three days. god...this is exciting stuff. canker sore remedies (countless) don't work. shitty. it's going to be another scorcher. but my body will maintain homeostasis thanks in part to the wonders of artificial temperature maintenance...which makes my hands cold and my mouth dry...woo. end the madness. okay i'm off...i'll post something with bigger words and more thought later. have a...day...whatever you make of it. (me.) Mood: okay Music: filumena score stuck in my head.

	2003.07.16  00.07 small pleasures it's been way too long since i read anything. i'm feeling like i'm sticking into this unartistic zone of crap and sludge that i can't express...and that's just it...i can't express myself. hm. i feel strangely disconnected at the same time as feeling totally connected. like i'm kind of floating above some things and at the same time being hauled back below the surface, dragging my face into this pool of activity. ... and leaving a long frothy wake with my wishes, the theoretical consciousness that i (hope to) possess. so i can't float quite high enough over these waves. waves of emotion. and i need to read. any suggestions of where to start? what can i read when i have no time to do so? so i was walking home today, and the sun hit my face at a peculiar angle and i glanced over at a woman and two children, standing there looking at flowers and taking pictures of one another- and my mind was suddenly full of thought- when it's felt empty for some time...and it felt wonderful. i thought... how is it that we take for granted? anything...? these people are standing on the ground of my hometown, preserving memories of a hard-earned vacation...and yet everyday i pass by the same place (twice). twice a day. and my mind is somewhat desensitized to it's beauty...shouldn't i be recognizing the beauty of this place even moreso? and i thought- commercials on tv often show moments like this- these beautiful snippets of the wonderful parts of life, those moments that we want to remember. is it simply a biproduct of our conditioning that we then begin to believe that these moments, these brief rarities of smiles, laughter and sunshine are what make life great? hell, it makes me feel good to see things like this... but wouldn't the world be more wonderful if everyone looked at every moment in this kind of wonder, with as much soft-hearted warm.fuzziness that these moments create? life is full of moments- why not make every one, no matter if there's a smile or frown, rain or sunbeams, flowers or concrete- why not make each of those moments a tender memory, hold a special place- like those moments from commercials where the family runs along the beach, the little girl swings on a swingset. and i see such art around me, i see such recognition of this fact- that life is always beautiful- simply because it's life. and i passed a no parking sign that had a wreath of daisies growing around it's base. and i stopped and just watched the stillness until i kept walking again. and i'm people watching again. and it makes me excited. and life goes on reach out, connect...do what you love...make every moment one of those moments. love for the sake of loving. dream sweetly. Mood: artistic Music: the bathroom tap running

	2003.07.14  23.36 and suddenly the worry washes away. thank you i love you. (me.) Mood: indescribable Music: her voice still ringing in my ear.

	2003.07.14  22.49 today. extreme emotions. confusion. satisfaction. dissatisfaction. anger. stress. panic. calm. exhaustion. and i don't have time. sitting in my cubicle...which is yet to become mine...i need to work, i am working...find out i missed a great party last night with the opera as theatre folk, hence my coworkers weren't at the office til 10. little jobs, little chores, i was happy...i was calm...then upside.flipped as i read the words, the conversation. confusion. distress. i become apologetic. i sit, staring blankly at the screen in front of me, suddenly frozen, unable to do anything but think and feel helpless. thinking in circles. and then in walk danny and joey and alexis, hand me a package, they found something for me! so i open it...they were thrift store shopping and found me this vintage basketball warm up type deal...almost like a short sleeved button up sweater...green...i'm excited, but no...look at the back! it's got 'McRoberts' written on it...embroidered in white...my last name...who'da thunk??? hence the satisfaction. you can email me if you want pics...hehe... and don't have time rehearsal tonight- first opera rehearsal. this is going to be very interesting. they've booked musical chorus rehearsals from 2-5pm every day this week. and then full cast character rehearsals from 6:30 til 9:30 pm. but wait...don't i have to work from 9-5 every day? uhhh yeah...so we'll see what my boss says about that one. :| yeah. so i'm going to be up at the centre like...every day from what...7am til 10pm? :| yyeaahh. and i don't have time. time to hear the only voice i want to hear. love you all. -me. Mood: rushed

	2003.07.10  23.55 roses. and. texas. conservatives. at last, you say...an update from home, where ian can be relaxed correct you are...plus i'm getting sick. heh. who'da guessed? sooo today was good, boring at work even though i had ohso much to do. i found myself sitting around the cubicle avoiding doing anything (which consisted of exchanging emails every 10 minutes with the most beautiful girl in the world...)((who is fabulously perfect)). tonight was the performance 'forbidden shakespeare'...basic premise: a universal authority has taken over and banned shakespeare and anything to do with him, so those who love his work have to meet in secret. it was the banff centre's 'opera as theatre' program...people i know through photocopying their resumes and memorizing their bios for programs...but they are far more amazing in person. :p (surprise surprise.) basically it was all these operatic versions of shakespeare snippets...it rocked. and kev's little brother trev was in it, he was great. went down to the little shindig afterwards, and walked my old friend paddy home with mom...she is incredible. absolutely incredible. 80 years old, acted with precipice (the company i act/teach with)...for 13 years, and she lives on her own- such a wonderful person. she had had a glass of champagne at the soiree and was tipsy- so hilarious...ohhh and she was talking about the most fabulous things, about how every part of the body has it's own intelligence and they network with each other to create the whole body- which is a microcosm of life in general- it's all about connection...ohhh i was in awe. we got to her house, and she told us this lovely story about how she went to the flower shop and this girl gave her free roses- and then she gave mom and i each a rose (beautiful beautiful beautiful flowers) and bade us goodnight. i've determined that i'm going to have tea with her on a weekly basis...she's amazing. amazing. i wish you all could meet her. she offered her house for all my friends to stay in if ever they were 'out of accomodation'...so adorable. so come out and stay with her! my brother is chatting with my parents about much ado about nothing...he's filling in for the shakespeare in the park, playing leonato...and he'll be great, but right now he's bitching about it being too long. hehe. which it is. hmm. i love being surrounded by theatre. funny/ironic thing about 'forbidden shakespeare'...check the news, china has officially 'forbidden' anything to do with shakespeare. *raises eyebrows* here's a tidbit from my 'alternatives' magazine (canadian environmental ideas and action)... www.motherjones.com/magazine/JA02/texas_texts.html if you're too lazy to go to the site, basically it says that Texas conservatives have been altering science textbooks so that things are more to their liking...aka taking out any text that says carbon dioxide is a 'pollutant'...and changing text about native american/settler disputes because they come across as being 'anti-settler'...heh. good ol' texas. way to raise your president in that lovely state. and it's great to live in the 'texas of canada'. fuck you oil industry. fuck you fascist bastards. hehehe...hmm it's late and i'm ranting. whew...long post...tomorrow is my first time 'assistant stage managing' a professional show!!! it's our festival kickoff and i am an offical stage manager. how crazy is that? yeah. i'd better get some sleep...and have some vitamins. thanks for reading if you made it through this beast. sweet dreams. (me.) Mood: exhausted Music: dan talking about much ado.